Mirror Moment
Ever feel like the corporate ladder is less a journey and more a performance? Like you’re playing a part in a play you never auditioned for? It's a common feeling. You're handed a script of what success should look like, and you spend your days delivering lines that don't quite feel like your own. I've been there, more times than I like to talk about. The script felt heavy, the applause hollow. This is the moment you need to pause and check your “Custom Settings” Tab. The part of yourself that has been operating on default for too long.
This is exactly why I built my brand, my book, and my consultancy, around a single life-changing idea. What’s the idea, you ask? It’s about rethinking the lies I tell myself, my perceptions of a person, a situation, or even an idea itself. I realized I was measuring my progress with someone else's ruler, and honestly, the measurements were all wrong for me.
Over time, I started noticing a pattern, how often I let borrowed beliefs shape my decisions. Whether it was a job title I thought I had to chase, a version of success I never questioned, or even doubts I accepted as facts. The deeper I dug, the more I realized: it wasn’t my effort that was off, it was the internal script I was following. Most of us don’t even realize we’re operating on auto-pilot, guided by outdated beliefs or silent assumptions we never chose for ourselves. Before we can build something meaningful, whether a career, a brand, or a life, we have to pause and question the internal narratives that silently drive us.
So, let's talk about adjusting your Custom Settings' Tab. Before you can take action, you have to get to the root of the inaction. It's more about how you think rather than what you do. This is where we bring in our arsenal of mindset tools to get you unstuck.
1. The "Observer's Lens" Framework
Sometimes, the best way to get out of your own head is to get out of your own head. This framework, inspired by core principles of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), helps you become a detective of your own mind. When you're stuck in a loop of self-doubt, imagine you're a scientist observing a thought from a distance.
Try This: Write down the thought that's holding you back. For example: “I’m not ready for that role.”
The "Is That True?" Test: Now, ask yourself, "Is this 100% true? What evidence do I have to prove it?" You'll quickly see that most of your fears are not facts, they're just... well, they're just thoughts.
2. The "Mindset Audit" Tool
Think of this as a check-up for your confidence. You're not always in a "fixed mindset." You might be a marathon runner with a growth mindset about your health but a fixed mindset about your ability to lead a team. This tool, inspired by the brilliant work of Carol Dweck on Growth Mindset, helps you pinpoint exactly where you're feeling stuck.
Try This:Rate how open to growth you feel in different areas of your life like your career, relationships, and creativity,on a scale of 1 to 10.
Identify the Trigger: Pinpoint the specific situations that make you feel stuck. Is it when you see a peer get a promotion? When you're in a meeting with a senior leader? Once you know the trigger, you can start to reframe the story you tell yourself.
3. The "Identity by Action" Framework
Confidence doesn't just show up one day, it's built with consistent, small actions. This framework, based on the psychological principle of behavioral activation, is about proving to yourself, through small acts of courage, that you are the person you want to become.
Try This: What's one small, "scary" thing you can do this week to prove your mind wrong? Maybe it's asking a question in a meeting or volunteering to lead a team check-in. The goal isn't perfection; it's progress.
The "Future Self" Letter: Write a letter from your future, successful self to your present self. Fill it with gratitude and affirmations, telling yourself what you did to get there. This is a powerful way to step into the mindset of the person you want to become.
The journey to an authentic and fulfilling career begins with a single step, a single thought, a single choice. Let's make that step, thought, and choice count.
Until next time, Stay Fueled, own your story & burn the script. XOXOXO Jenny